Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Week 4 Game Plan: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Rebound Dinner Party
So you've got company coming over this weekend, and you want to overcome the embarassment of a less than successful gala last time around? Have no fear - below you'll find everything you need to delight your guests and get your mojo back.

But first, you've got to prepare for your guests - what do your guests like to do?

Tampa Bay is averaging 210 yards passing and 86 yards rushing per game. Those are manageable numbers for any host, but the scary number is 13.7. That's how many points the Bucs are scoring per game, including just getting blanked by the Giants. It's not a scary number by itself, but as in all things football, points are relative. And the Redskins are sporting a 13.3 points per game average.

On the other side of the ball, the Skins are allowing an average of 16.3 points on them, while the hapless Bucs are giving up a 30 spot on average, on 432 yards surrendered every sixty minutes. The most important stat for the Skins offense is the Bucs' 187 rushing yards allowed per game.

Which leads me to my recipe for success in Week 4.

Buc Thrashing Stew (serves 92,000)
Ingredients
  • 22 Rushes of Clinton Portis
  • 8 Rushes of Ladell Betts
  • 6 Rushes of Marcus Mason (you can substitute Anthony Alridge rushes here)
  • 2 Endaround Second Half Rushes by a Speedy Wide Receiver (be sure not to throw this in too early -it'll spoil the dish!)
  • 20 Short Passes (mostly over the middle) from Jason Campbell
  • 4 Ten-second NFL Films slow-mo spirals from Jason Campbell
  • Add a dash of Suisham to taste
Mix ingredients liberally, and don't be afraid to toss in your favorite spices! This recipe doesn't require precision, just a basic understanding of your ingredients. The dish should look something like this:

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