Any more rooms in this house of horrors?

So Cooley's out, Mr. Fair Catch muffed a punt, JC's fumblitis flared up again, Rabach couldn't tell that his QB was in the shotgun, Fred Davis (with another "Davis Leap!") was so bad in pass protection that his catches paled in comparison, and Horton and Landry let DeSean get behind them.

Quite a list, and this is in addition to the injuries to Samuels and Thomas, the disappearance of Malcolm Kelly, D Hall's blown tackles, Portis' mediocrity, the Collins safety, and the existence of Stephon Heyer.

What more could go wrong? Is there any unexplored malady that has not yet befallen this team? Let's take a moment to try to imagine what hasn't yet happened so that watching it transpire won't be as painful.

Potential Lower Points in the Redskins' 2009 Season

• The entire stadium gets swine flu, as do 45% of television viewers
• London Fletcher' arms begin to sweat lubricants, thus making tackling impossible
• Misprinted jerseys - #30 "Laundry"
• A crazed Mike Sellers storms the Wizards court and re-injures Arenas
• Haynesworth is placed on the IR when he suffers a serious neck puncture after forgetting to take out his huge diamond earring before putting his helmet on
• Brian Orakpo accidentally eats Hunter Smith
• Zorn goes on a Christian Bale-esque swearing tirade in the post game conference (actually, come to think of it, this might be a high point)
• Suisham misses a field goal
• Zorn throws a challenge flag into Portis' eye
• Sherm Smith punches through the playcalling glass
• The dead rise from the field, as the stadium sits over an Indian burial ground, and they're mighty pissed about the combination of the franchise name and the miserable play
• A sacked Jason Campbell's lips can be clearly read to say: "I'm not getting up, cause I'm just going to get knocked right back down here" before he is physically carried off the field against his will
• Daniel Snyder remains the owner and Vinny Cerrato remains the GM
  

I think I'll be able to handle any of these events a bit better now that I've prepared myself.